January 31, 2012 - Home time

January 31^st - It’s hard to believe that January is coming to an end.

I've been tying up loose ends prior to my chemo treatments starting on Feb. 13th.  I've been checking on appointments that are being scheduled, checking with MMSI regarding my medical coverage during my long recovery, talking to family and friends which is always a comfort,  still trying to get workouts in per the Dr.’s recommendation and living my life 'stress free' -  but really, is there such a thing??  Anyways I'm drastically trying to reduce the stressors in my life which has helped me sleep better at night and for some odd reason I feel more at ease over the past few days.  I don't know if its the acceptance piece of it all or that I know a lot more than I did a week or two ago, or what but I have a great willingness and eagerness to beat this thing call breast cancer! 

And let's just say I WILL!!

January 28, 2012 - Reminder for Lace Up Against Breast Cancer walk/run

January 28 - Just wanted to remind everyone of the formation of TEAM ESC for the Lace Up Against Breast Cancer (LUABC) running/walking event to raise money for Mayo Clinic breast cancer research.  Mayo High School - Sunday, February 12, 2012 @ 10:00 AM

Please visit the Web Site  http://www.luabc.org/ to register individually at a current cost of $25 for the 5K and 2-mile walk.  Price increases by $5 on February 6.  

If you can't make the walk/run and would just like to donate click on the Web Site Link above and click on Donate.  Let's put an end to Breast Cancer!!

Thank you all for your support!

January 27, 2012 - Appointment with Oncologist & Surgeon

January 27th - I, along with Don and Marie, went to another appointment to see the Oncologist - Dr Time Moynihan, and to meet the surgeon - Dr Boughey, that will be doing my surgery in 3-4 months.  Dr Boughey is known to be a wonderful surgeon and she explained to me what the options could be once the chemo treatments are completed in 3-4 months.  She said depending on how the tumor reacts to the chemo treatments and how much it shrinks,would determine which method of surgery would take place. 
Options are - a lumpectomy, a mastectomy to the right breast or a double mastectomy.  She indicated that because of the tumor size that a lumpectomy would NOT be an option unless the chemo treatments performed a miracle.  She said that I would have to meet with a plastic surgeon and a radiation therapist down the road.  The plastic surgeon would be needed if I decided that I wanted reconstructive surgery done following the surgery or after the radiation treatments.  I really like Dr. Boughey, she too was very understanding and very easy to talk to.

After the meeting with the surgeon, Dr. Tim came in and reviewed the results to all the tests that I had earlier that week.  He said that I am in Stage III breast cancer because of the size of the tumer (10cm) and the lymph node involvement.  He said that I would probably have to take hormones 5-10 years after the radiation treatments are completed.  He said that I was negative for HER2 gene ( to read more about HER2 click on link  - http://breastcancer.about.com/od/diagnosis/p/her2_diagnosis.htm).  He indicated that he was very happy that this came back negative!!!  I also asked him about the results of my blood work.  I had noticed that all the blood values were within normal limits which seemed odd to me given my prognosis.  He said that was a good thing and was another defining factor that showed that the cancer has not spread to any other organs!!  His words were - I quote "Your blood work results are boring and that is exactly what we want to see!!  A couple small victories for me - again a couple small fist pumps!!

At this point we are waiting for the results from USF and then the chemo treatments will begin.  He said this will be roughly around February 8th. Until then, I will be at home possibly doing some 'easy' work things from there.  If you feel the need to call, please do so.  I am always willing to talk as I find that it benefits me and most likely you too! 

I love you all!!  And mostly importantly - thank you all for your support.  I couldn't make it through this without all of you!!  You’re Awesome and God Bless!

January 26, 2012 - Hair Cut

January 26th - I had a routine appointment to get my hair done.  Things keep racing through my mind about cutting my hair short.  Also what to say to my hairstylist because I was pretty certain that she would ask me why I decided to go shorter.  Well, of course she asked and before I could answer she said, "oh, it's probably because you want a fresh new cut for spring".  Ok, I thought, let's go with that.  I wasn't sure I could tell her without breaking down right there in the middle of City Looks Salon.  Several times I wanted to tell her but the words just wouldn't come.  I left there with shorter hair - chin length, and without saying a word to Amy.  I even let her schedule me another appointment for 5 weeks out - hell, five weeks out, I probably will not be needing a haircut!

On the way home I was thinking that I probably should have told her.  My way to get around this is to send her a note (by mail) telling her my news and asking her to cancel my appointment in 5 weeks.  That is the best that I can do at this point....but what a coward!

January 25, 2012 - Another Test Day

January 25
10:00am - scheduled for 2nd biopsy that would be send to the USF (University of San Fransisco) for analysis
12:30pm - scheduled for blood work and urine test to also be send along with my MRI results to USF

After all of my appointments I went up to W10 Breast Clinic to sign a form allowing Don and the kids the ability to call in and ask about my appointments and my results, etc.  While I was up there I noticed a small room which had information and pamphlets on breast cancer.  As I was looking around an older women and another women roughly my age walked in.  Come to find out they were Pink Ribbon volunteers that assisted breast cancer patients with support and information.  An awesome role these women play in the care of breast cancer patients.

I meet a wonderful women that day in that small room by the name of Linda Miller.  She was so caring and supportive to me (being the breast cancer newbie that I was) and she offered many good thoughts/ideas and when I left I felt that I had known her forever.  There are not many people in my life that have that kind of impact on me and I will never forget the moment.   She told me that I was on journey, not an easy journey, but she was more than confident that everything would be ok.  She told me that I had a lot of things to think about over the next days, weeks, months but to remember to take one day at a time. 

From this point on  - I'm taking one day at a time!

January 24, 2012 - Test Day

6:00a.m. PET scan
9:10a.m. Blood work
Following both of those tests we were to report to see Dr. Moynihan on W10 Gonda
3:15 MRI of the breast

Don and Marie joined me during my appointment with Dr. Moynihan, which I am so thankful they were there as it is always good to have extra sets of ears.  Dr. Tim (as he is called in my husband's bicycling world) said that the biopsy came back with infiltrating ductal carcinoma with lymph node involvement.  He went over, high level, the treatments such as chemo, surgery and radiation therapy.  Since I had several tests done that morning and the results weren't quite back yet he was not able to tell me which stage I'm in.

Further into the appointment the results from the PET scan came back and he asked me if I wanted to see the results which of course I did.  The PET scan showed that the cancer was in the right breast and right lymph nodes & had not spread to other organs in my body!!  Woot, woot ( small victory!  I got to take what I can!)!!! 

He asked if I would be willing to join a clinical trial whereas instead of getting the Standard of Care (SOC) that most cancer patients get for chemo treatments, this trial is more specialized to the patient in regards to the chemo part of the treatment.  They said that I would have to have another biopsy and blood work so that they could send to the University of San Fransisco for analysis.  I would hear back those results by February 8th and likely start my chemo treatments that week. 

I asked him about exercising and he said definately Yes - to keep exercising now and even into my treatments, if I felt I could.  Here I come Healthy Living Center (DAHLC)!!

January 21 & 22, 2012 - Using my Resources

The evening prior when my husband and I were talking I asked him if he could email a bicycling friend who happens to be a medical oncologist at Mayo to see if he would be willing to speak to me about my news.  Don emailed Dr. Tim Moynihan and he was more than willing to talk, he provided his work and cell #. 

Well, if you know me at all I wasn't going to wait until Monday to talk to him so I called him Saturday to see if he would be willing to take me on as a patient or if he could recommend someone to me.  He offered some good advice and offered names of other great oncologists at Mayo.  We chatted for a while and he asked if I minded that he review my records which I was more than willing to say YES to.  On Sunday I received an email from Dr. Moynihan stating that he had put in some orders for test early that next week.
He had ordered a PET scan, blood work, an MRI of the breast and an appointment to see him also. 

On Saturday, I asked Don if he would take me to the little chapel at our church. In the chapel area of the church they have what they call Perpetual Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  This means that someone from the church is always present and praying 24/7 to the Blessed Sacrament, so this area is always open and available. 

At this point in my life I needed to be in His presence and basically give it all up to Him.  What was happening to me was way beyond my control and I was more or less drawn there.  It was a very emotional moment for me and I felt He would be with me throughout my journey.  I had a calmness come over me and knew that I just had to listen for His Words and He would guide me. Praise the Lord!!

January 20, 2012 - Biopsy Day & Telling Parents & Family

January 20th, I went back to Gonda 2 for the biopsy which I was their first test that morning.  The radiologist did 4 biopsies on my lymph nodes and 4 or 5 on the lump.  This went as well as to be expected.  The radiologist, ultrasound tech and nurses that assisted were very caring and keep me at ease during the whole test.  I also said quite a few prayers which helped calm me. They told me that it would be 2 business days before the biopsy results would be back so that would be late Monday or Tuesday of the next week...that’s a long wait when your anxious for the results. 

Later that afternoon I received a call from Heather Carrico as she was watching my test results.  She told me that the results were back already from the biopsies that were done on the lymph nodes.  The findings were consistent with metastatic breast carcinoma.  Again...I was stunned and to top it off I was home along, ughhhh!.

She asked me if I had any questions and it took all of my being to say that I was really just trying to take it all in, without breaking down.  She explained that she had scheduled to have me seen in the Breast Clinic on January 27th and that an appointment was made to see a surgeon on February 8th. 

After the phone call from Heather, I knew that I had to tell someone so I called my husband at work to tell him the news.  This was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and in hindsight probably not the greatest decision that I've made.  Can you imagine how he must have felt!!!  Unfortunately, my poor son-in-law, Justin, just returned home and was down in the kitchen.  I went down to the kitchen and he asked me how it was going...I could hardly speak but somehow got the words out that I had just learned that I had metastatic breast cancer at which point I had a little meltdown.  I could see the look in Justin's eyes as to what he should do with his mother-in-law who was standing there crying her eyes out.  He was a true trooper...hugs are always good!  Thanks for being there Justin!

Also on Friday I felt compelled to phone my Mom (who is 84 years old) and give her the news.  Again, this is not an easy conversation to tell your Mom that one of her daughters has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  She was very taken aback and offered her prayers and hope for my recovery.  I love my Mom, she is the sweetest person!  I then phoned Don's parents who are now down in Texas for a few months.  I haven't known my mother-in-law to not have words to speak but this was one of those times where I think she was really speechless.  She too was very caring and concerned and offered her prayers.  I love them both so much too.  Now I was trying to figure out how to tell my siblings.  I thought, I should probably call them all but after I phoned my sister Mary, I couldn't find it in me to have to phone the rest of them so I sent them all an email.  Again probably not the best way to tell someone about this but it was the best I could do at that point.  This day  proved to be the longest day EVER!!  Don, bless his heart, contacted the rest of his family and friends to give them the news.

January 18, & 19, 2012 - MBI test, telling my kids & spa day

January 18th I went back to Gonda 2 for the MBI test.  The MBI test was somewhat similar to a mammogram but not to the same extent of discomfort.  A few follow up mammograms followed this test.  The test was done within an hour and I went about my day.

Later this day, Heather Carrico called me to see how I was doing and wanted to know what I knew.  I told her that I really didn't know anything.  She said that she had the results back from the ultrasound and MBI test and that they both came back with suspicious for malignancy and that a biopsy of the lump and subsequent lymph nodes was scheduled for the following day. 

Initially I was taken aback with the words that I was hearing.  Was I hearing her correctly?  Was this moving in a direction that any women would fear?   I was totally stunned.  I think at that point I really quit listening although I knew that I had to tell my family.  Not an easy thing to do.  One thing that I do remember hearing is Heather saying that this is very treatable.

I called my husband at work to let him know what I had learned.  Upon his return  home and after an emotional breakdown with my husband, I had to tell Marie and Bill what was going on.  Lets just say - difficult at best and alot of tears were shed this day.  As the saying goes - your life can change in the blink of an eye.  I wish I would never have blinked.

January 19th - Marie was so nice to offer a day at the spa for her and I.  She scheduled us to one hour massages and pedicures....relaxing, to say the least!  Thank you so much Marie - this is exactly what I needed at that point in my life!  You are definately a gift from God!

January 17, 2012 - Appointment at Kasson Clinic

January 17th, I had to be at the Kasson clinic at 11:00am.  At this point I had not said anything to anyone about what was going on, not even Don, my kids nor anyone from work.  I really didn't think it would amount to anything so why have them worry about nothing. 
When I meet Heather Carrico , NP, she was very personable and was easy to talk to.  She examined me and I saw a slight concern in her face as the lump was large and was not hard to find.  She scheduled a mammogram and ultrasound for me that afternoon.  I kinda felt bad for her having to see someone for the first time and have to deal with all of this.
I traveled back to work and went to my appointment at Gonda 2 that afternoon.  Now if anyone with my sized breasts has ever had a mammogram, it is not the most enjoyable thing to have done...important of course, but not enjoyable!  They flatten them to pancake size!  Anyways...after the mammograms, they did the ultrasound of my right breast.  You know something is not right when you see concern on the techs faces.  Maybe they didn't mean to but that was my perception. 
After the ultrasound I was asked if they could preform a somewhat new test called Molecular Breast Imaging test.  It is a  nuclear medicine test that is done for women that have dense breast tissue which I am so blessed to have (right here I am being sarcastic!).  This was scheduled for the following day. 

That evening I told Don what was going on and that additional tests had been scheduled but that I was not really aware of the diagnosis yet.

January 16, 2012 - Call to Kasson Clinic

Monday, January 16th, I called the Kasson clinic where my primary care doctor is located.  He, unfortuantely, has had his own medical problems and was only working 1/2 days.  I was told that his schedule was full that morning and that I would have to wait and call Tuesday morning to see if he had any openings.  The other option that was given was to see a nurse practioner as the desk person that I was speaking to felt that I needed to be seen soon with those kind of symptoms.  I was scheduled to see Heather Carrico - nurse practioner Tuesday morning.  I had never seen Heather prior to this appointment.

January 14, 2012 - Initial Findings

The weekend of January 14th was an anxious one for me as that was when I first noticed/felt 'something' odd in my right breast.  It was a somewhat large (ping pong ball size) and hard spot in the right upper corner of my right breast next to my armpit.  My first initial thought was maybe I just had a duct that was inflammed or something and it would got away by Sunday morning.  Unfortunantely, Sunday morning it was still there and in my mind it seemed to have grown overnight (I think it was my mind playing tricks on me at that point).